♥ trash bae ♥
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dajo42:

"tea is just leaf water!" "yeah well coffee is just bean water!" wow, it’s. it’s like everything is made of things. this door is just wood rectangle. this poster is just ink paper. this lemonade is just lemon water. wow, it’s like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. sure is a magical world we live in

thewindtalker:

This scene was improvised, so ludacris’ reaction is genuine and dwayne didn’t have a line after tyrese said his.

gayjason:

maskedfangirl:

marvelcolm:

Guys, please read my extremely NSFW Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic told from the perspective of Groot here.

I don’t normally rec a lot of PWP, but wow. Stop what you’re doing and read this, you won’t regret it!

I think I just discovered a new kink

fromseveralroomsaway:

leannewoodfull:

lutefisktacoandbeer:

kittymudface:

It gets better—the guy is deaf, and he taught his cat the sign for “food.” So the cat’s not just saying “put that in my mouth,” it’s actually signing

Not only that, but if you notice at the beginning, the cat *gets the man’s attention* as any person who wanted to talk to a deaf/hoh individual would (well, and vice versa IME). I’ve done sign since I was 5, and generally, w/o eye contact initially, you wave a hand or lightly touch the arm (if that’s ok with the person you’re trying to converse with, of course). 
Generally, adult cats meow mostly to humans, but this cat has figured out that’s not going to work and has adapted. Animal companions! They are INCREDIBLE.

Amazing.

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LOOK AT THIS CAT.

densetsu-no-stahpenisu:

quang-senpaii:

Me wen am hight

Me when I realize that I killed nearly everyone in the entire world and fused their souls into a bleeding radioactive sphere, nobody trusts me, everyone wants to use me for their own purposes or wants me dead, and the girl I tried to protect by accidentally bringing about near-apocalypse is dead, and I’ve been trying to fuck her clone, which is a clone of a clone of my dead mom whose soul is residing in the giant bio-mechanical angelic death machine that I used to kill everyone, and I just wanna go back and play gay piano with my alien boyfriend, but I missed the recital and he’s probably disappointed because I’m high.

funnyforsmile:

Some guys from my hall snap chatted me- took me a second…

-annoying:

the “i’m not afraid to verbally assault a middle schooler if they look at my kid the wrong way” haircut

image

weed-plnts:

higheramerica:

Colorado…where the bears are so high they contemplate the existence of life.

This is great

meladoodle:

yogurtville:

meladoodle:

im getting a haircut today

Which one?

strand #1043 its getting longer than the rest

hot-topic-trash-baby:

I want to be spoiled but I also feel extremely guilty when people use money on me

voldemortcanyounot:

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain